So sometimes, I just can't break away to get to my computer. That's okay with me, though, because I have been soaking up every bit of my boy as I can... I don't know what or why or how, but it just hit me this past weekend how much and fast he's growing. I can't stop hugging him, kissing him, tickling him, talking to him or being talked to by him.
Well, we did give him his first real haircut, and he's looking much less like a baby and much more like a boy. I may be trying to hang onto the baby... Or really, it feels more like staying in the present, or staying present. One of those. I want to be there for those transitions and milestones. His babbling is sounding more and more like actual sentences, His fine motor skills have improved to the point where he can pick his nose, and color pretty well (not at the same time... yet).
I guess I've just noticed Makani is growing up a bit more and I wanted to relish this time and reassure him that I'm here. Whenever he needs a hug, or has a tantrum, or learns something new, or wants to show off, or just wants to talk to me... I'm here. That's my job, isn't it, as his mom? :)
We should all do that for each other. The world might be a better place.
Much Love,
The Dolfos
28 February 2011
24 February 2011
23 February 2011
Swim!
So way back when, we decided that Brad would be the one to share swim lessons with Makani. I'm not crazy about the water, and I didn't want to instill any of that "dislike" to Mak, so we thought it would be best if the more enthusiastic parent share that with him. Plus, I'm with him all day, it's nice that the boys get their own thing to bond over.
Brad had a job tonight (he's an interpreter) so it was my FIRST time ever getting in the water with Mak. I have to say, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be! Mak seemed to really enjoy me being in there with him, he's such a spunky water kid! Splashing and laughing and silly and diving... the fun was endless. :)
I see now the importance of at least once in a while showing some interest in your kids' hobbies. I'll never be crazy about swimming and water, but I see how happy Mak was to see ME, his MOM, sharing something special with him. He really is passionate about his swim lessons. He can hold his breath like a pro! He's also incredibly fearless. Absolutely no qualms about deep ends or diving. I'm going to have to keep an eye on this guy come summertime.
I was happy, as I always am, to see that huge smile on my son's face. And to know I had a big part in that.
Much Love,
The Dolfos.
Brad had a job tonight (he's an interpreter) so it was my FIRST time ever getting in the water with Mak. I have to say, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be! Mak seemed to really enjoy me being in there with him, he's such a spunky water kid! Splashing and laughing and silly and diving... the fun was endless. :)
I see now the importance of at least once in a while showing some interest in your kids' hobbies. I'll never be crazy about swimming and water, but I see how happy Mak was to see ME, his MOM, sharing something special with him. He really is passionate about his swim lessons. He can hold his breath like a pro! He's also incredibly fearless. Absolutely no qualms about deep ends or diving. I'm going to have to keep an eye on this guy come summertime.
I was happy, as I always am, to see that huge smile on my son's face. And to know I had a big part in that.
Much Love,
The Dolfos.
21 February 2011
CODA
It's important to me that my son signs. I don't know how long I'll be able to hear, but I know that I'll always be able to sign. It's an easy way to communicate, and a truly beautiful way, too. Fortunately, right now, I *CAN* hear, and speak clearly, so I don't sign with Makani as often as I wish I would. I've been trying to remind myself to sign more, or at least sim-com (simultaneous communication, where you speak and sign at the same time).
I'm getting better. But everyday, I remind myself that I need to turn off my voice and trust that he will pick up what I'm saying. He already does. And I know perfectly well that CODAs (Children Of Deaf Adults) have no delay in speech. In fact, some of the most brilliant people I know are CODAs. And I truly believe its because they learned sign language first. Or maybe the beauty of the Deaf Culture just raises these wonderful people. I need to have more trust in that my son will WANT to sign with me as he gets older. I guess part of me doesn't want to push it on him for fear that he won't want to, or resent having to learn another language just for one parent.
Either way, there is no time like the present to start something positive. I try, everyday, to find an hour or two to just voice-off and sign with Mak. And the best part is it makes no difference to him, it's obviously something he considers normal. He waves to get my attention, makes sure I'm looking at him and he's looking at me, I've unknowingly schooled him well, he's a true CODA.
For the record, he also speaks and understands Spanish. My little tri-linguist. :)
Much Love,
The Dolfos.
I'm getting better. But everyday, I remind myself that I need to turn off my voice and trust that he will pick up what I'm saying. He already does. And I know perfectly well that CODAs (Children Of Deaf Adults) have no delay in speech. In fact, some of the most brilliant people I know are CODAs. And I truly believe its because they learned sign language first. Or maybe the beauty of the Deaf Culture just raises these wonderful people. I need to have more trust in that my son will WANT to sign with me as he gets older. I guess part of me doesn't want to push it on him for fear that he won't want to, or resent having to learn another language just for one parent.
Either way, there is no time like the present to start something positive. I try, everyday, to find an hour or two to just voice-off and sign with Mak. And the best part is it makes no difference to him, it's obviously something he considers normal. He waves to get my attention, makes sure I'm looking at him and he's looking at me, I've unknowingly schooled him well, he's a true CODA.
For the record, he also speaks and understands Spanish. My little tri-linguist. :)
Much Love,
The Dolfos.
20 February 2011
Things I'm thankful for on this Sunday night:
My inlaws. All of them. They feel just like family should feel.
Margaritas. Strong ones. ;)
Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project
My son saying "I love you" as "Mama, Ah La La" AND attempting the sign for it.
Clean laundry.
That Brad doesn't have to work tomorrow!
Early bedtime.
Much Love,
The Dolfos
Margaritas. Strong ones. ;)
Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project
My son saying "I love you" as "Mama, Ah La La" AND attempting the sign for it.
Clean laundry.
That Brad doesn't have to work tomorrow!
Early bedtime.
Much Love,
The Dolfos
18 February 2011
Life with three.
A friend's nanny was out today, and since she wasn't able to find a back up in time, she asked me. I thought, "sure, I'll be helpful this one time and brave three kids. How hard can it be?"
J is a four month old, precious little girl. And fortunately for me, C seriously *LOVES* babies. However, Mak has never been around babies, so I was still a little apprehensive. 8am, J gets dropped off, so does C, all is well. Mak sees J, stares, then sees C, the boys go play, I get the girl settled in (I'd never met her before this).
I had it all planned out. I'd get all three kids in the car, and head down to Kid Ventures, a fabulous indoor play area. Got the diaper bags packed and the boys in their shoes, the girl buckled into the carseat and managed to corral them all in the car. Of course I didn't even consider that EVERY OTHER MOM would be there as well, since it was raining. It. Was. Packed. Fine, I thought, we'll just stay here for an hour, then by the time I get them all out of there and back IN the car and back home, it'll be lunchtime.
Wrong. Ten minutes into the hour, C had a meltdown. He was hungry and didn't like ANY of the 12 snacks I packed. Two choices, I told him, we can go home and eat or we can stay and play for a little bit longer and then go home and eat. He didn't like his choices. More meltdown. Some time out, while I changed J's diaper (how is it possible I'd already forgotten how often newborns need their diaper changed?!)
Then, of course, I changed Mak's diaper. Then I bottle-fed J. Then I kissed Mak's boo-boo. Then I helped C put on play clothes. Then I finished bottle-feeding J. And then.. And then.. And then........
Oh, how happy I was then the hour was up!! Got all three kids in the car, got home, J asleep in the carseat, fed the boys, bottle-fed J yet AGAIN, play play play play, NAP TIME!!
Here's the absolute best thing I've ever (I do mean EVER) accomplished: I got a three year old, a sixteen month old AAAANNNNDD a four month old to take a nap.
AT.THE.SAME.TIME.
Oh yes, I ate my lunch in peace and enjoyed EVERY. SECOND. I was so proud of myself! I really did think for a second that I couldn't possibly be able to take care of three kids at the same time, but I can!! I *CAN* do it! I certainly don't WANT to do it on a daily basis, but I definitely feel a great sense of... ability, I guess, is the right word, just knowing that there is something out there that I absolutely, positively CAN DO and I know I can because I did it!
And that, my friends, is life with three. I did it, and it didn't leave me as tired as I thought it would. I'm sure it's different when you have three 24/7, but for the moment, I'll settle for my 8/1 (eight hours a day, for one day). :)
Much Love,
The Dolfos
J is a four month old, precious little girl. And fortunately for me, C seriously *LOVES* babies. However, Mak has never been around babies, so I was still a little apprehensive. 8am, J gets dropped off, so does C, all is well. Mak sees J, stares, then sees C, the boys go play, I get the girl settled in (I'd never met her before this).
I had it all planned out. I'd get all three kids in the car, and head down to Kid Ventures, a fabulous indoor play area. Got the diaper bags packed and the boys in their shoes, the girl buckled into the carseat and managed to corral them all in the car. Of course I didn't even consider that EVERY OTHER MOM would be there as well, since it was raining. It. Was. Packed. Fine, I thought, we'll just stay here for an hour, then by the time I get them all out of there and back IN the car and back home, it'll be lunchtime.
Wrong. Ten minutes into the hour, C had a meltdown. He was hungry and didn't like ANY of the 12 snacks I packed. Two choices, I told him, we can go home and eat or we can stay and play for a little bit longer and then go home and eat. He didn't like his choices. More meltdown. Some time out, while I changed J's diaper (how is it possible I'd already forgotten how often newborns need their diaper changed?!)
Then, of course, I changed Mak's diaper. Then I bottle-fed J. Then I kissed Mak's boo-boo. Then I helped C put on play clothes. Then I finished bottle-feeding J. And then.. And then.. And then........
Oh, how happy I was then the hour was up!! Got all three kids in the car, got home, J asleep in the carseat, fed the boys, bottle-fed J yet AGAIN, play play play play, NAP TIME!!
Here's the absolute best thing I've ever (I do mean EVER) accomplished: I got a three year old, a sixteen month old AAAANNNNDD a four month old to take a nap.
AT.THE.SAME.TIME.
Oh yes, I ate my lunch in peace and enjoyed EVERY. SECOND. I was so proud of myself! I really did think for a second that I couldn't possibly be able to take care of three kids at the same time, but I can!! I *CAN* do it! I certainly don't WANT to do it on a daily basis, but I definitely feel a great sense of... ability, I guess, is the right word, just knowing that there is something out there that I absolutely, positively CAN DO and I know I can because I did it!
And that, my friends, is life with three. I did it, and it didn't leave me as tired as I thought it would. I'm sure it's different when you have three 24/7, but for the moment, I'll settle for my 8/1 (eight hours a day, for one day). :)
Much Love,
The Dolfos
17 February 2011
16 February 2011
Sharing is Caring
So I woke up this morning and somehow ended up reading this article about sharing:
I have to say, I agree. I watch a three year old all day (let's call him "C") along with my sixteen month old. I've gone out of my mind trying to explain to C that Mak just doesn't understand the concept of sharing yet. I've also gone out of my mind emphasizing to C that 'sharing' doesn't mean 'my turn NOW' (Mak, for the most part, doesn't seem TOO interested yet in playing with others anyway). I've decided to take a step back and see if they can work it out amongst themselves.
So far, not too bad. There's some snatching here and there and I just watch and see what happens. Unlike the blogger, I have two kids in very different stages, so I'm sure that makes it different situation. C is much more likely to come up to me and complain. Mak has no problem yet, either way. All I now is, taking this approach sure helps my sanity throughout the day. Playing referee for eight straight hours was just exhausting. It's important to let kids build their conflict resolution skills, and we as parents are here to help them, not do it for them.
Here's to caring, independent, skillful children! :)
Much love,
The Dolfos
I have to say, I agree. I watch a three year old all day (let's call him "C") along with my sixteen month old. I've gone out of my mind trying to explain to C that Mak just doesn't understand the concept of sharing yet. I've also gone out of my mind emphasizing to C that 'sharing' doesn't mean 'my turn NOW' (Mak, for the most part, doesn't seem TOO interested yet in playing with others anyway). I've decided to take a step back and see if they can work it out amongst themselves.
So far, not too bad. There's some snatching here and there and I just watch and see what happens. Unlike the blogger, I have two kids in very different stages, so I'm sure that makes it different situation. C is much more likely to come up to me and complain. Mak has no problem yet, either way. All I now is, taking this approach sure helps my sanity throughout the day. Playing referee for eight straight hours was just exhausting. It's important to let kids build their conflict resolution skills, and we as parents are here to help them, not do it for them.
Here's to caring, independent, skillful children! :)
Much love,
The Dolfos
15 February 2011
16 months.
Mak is turning sixteen months tomorrow. I really don't know where the time went. Today was particularly challenging. He woke up with red, bumpy cheeks - a "tell" sign that more teeth are cutting through. Poor kid really can't catch a break! Only four teeth on his first birthday, and now, he's up to 12, just four months later. I'm lucky that he is a very happy boy, all I have to do is take him outside and he's great. But the tantrums are hard on me and I find myself wanting to just scream back. Instead, I close my eyes, take a deep breath and calmly deal with it.
I'm reading Gretchen Rubin's "The Happiness Project" () and one of her commandments (for herself, which I find fit me very well) is "Act the way I want to feel." I always want to feel content, and calm, and find myself NEVER feeling either of those during the day lately. So I go ahead and fake it. I put a smile on my face and I use my indoor voice against the toddler's screaming, and I find that eventually (most of the time) I start to feel just a little calmer than I did an hour ago. It's working. It's such a big mental shift from my daily stressing out, so I expect it to take time.
Also, I'm making the switch back to cloth diapers. All this teething has been hard on poor Mak's bottom, which also lead to tantrums, and to save my sanity, and his, I'm going back to cloth. He's happier in cloth, which makes ME happier. Less rashes, and he's even more aware of when he's wet and he'll ASK me to change his diaper. How can anyone say anything negative about that? I'm not surrounded by too much support, even Brad isn't thrilled with it, because, honestly: disposables are "easier". But when I say, "It makes HIM happy, which makes ME happy." Well, who can deny us that?
I would like to make it my resolution to write here at least six days a week. I even have the App on my iPhone. No excuses. And it's thanks to Gretchen Rubin, because I know that writing makes me happy, and we could all use a little more HAPPY in our lives.
Much love,
The Dolfos
I'm reading Gretchen Rubin's "The Happiness Project" () and one of her commandments (for herself, which I find fit me very well) is "Act the way I want to feel." I always want to feel content, and calm, and find myself NEVER feeling either of those during the day lately. So I go ahead and fake it. I put a smile on my face and I use my indoor voice against the toddler's screaming, and I find that eventually (most of the time) I start to feel just a little calmer than I did an hour ago. It's working. It's such a big mental shift from my daily stressing out, so I expect it to take time.
Also, I'm making the switch back to cloth diapers. All this teething has been hard on poor Mak's bottom, which also lead to tantrums, and to save my sanity, and his, I'm going back to cloth. He's happier in cloth, which makes ME happier. Less rashes, and he's even more aware of when he's wet and he'll ASK me to change his diaper. How can anyone say anything negative about that? I'm not surrounded by too much support, even Brad isn't thrilled with it, because, honestly: disposables are "easier". But when I say, "It makes HIM happy, which makes ME happy." Well, who can deny us that?
I would like to make it my resolution to write here at least six days a week. I even have the App on my iPhone. No excuses. And it's thanks to Gretchen Rubin, because I know that writing makes me happy, and we could all use a little more HAPPY in our lives.
Much love,
The Dolfos
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