One week ago...

... I had a baby.





Birth story to follow!

Much Love,
The (four) Dolfos

Feelings.

There are days I feel like I'm pushing 40.

And there are days where I feel like I'm a teenager playing house. Not in a bad way. But more in a very, gosh-I-feel-too-young-to-be-this-lucky! way. Those days are good days. I hold onto them.

That way when I'm feeling much, much older than 26, I can remind myself how giddy I get when I look at my family. I'm happier now than I was when I was a teenager. And that makes me feel even more like one.

I guess it's possible to get better as you get older. To become younger as you get older. What a comforting thought.

Much love (and youth),
The Dolfos

Countdown

I have approximately seven weeks left with this baby inside of me and here start the swirl of emotions. Excitement. Nervousness. Anxiety. Glee.

More nesting has commenced. Thank goodness I'm having a baby shower soon - I might not be able to hold back from buying baby things much longer. I really can't wait! It's still wistful.

The more I prepare for this new baby, the more I look at Makani and miss my baby Mak. So much. I almost want HIM to be my baby again, too. It's hard to describe. I accept him as a two year old, more than that, I absolutely love him as a two year old. He's smart, and happy and adds so much to my days. But I loved my newborn Makani, and I know I always will. I take every hug and kiss I can get each day. And it never gets old. And I can't wait until I get double!

Much love,
The Dolfos

GD Test

So I failed my 1 hour glucose test. I'm pretty beat up about it. When pregnant with Makani, I worried the whole time about gestational diabetes, since both sides of my family have diabetes running through them. Fortunately, I passed it and thought I would coast through the rest of my pregnancy and birth my boy at home. Then I got hit with high blood pressure and preeclampsia. I'd never heard of preeclampsia before, and never had an issue with blood pressure, so I was pretty blindsided.

Again, I was fortunate. With the help of wonderful midwives and acupuncturists, I carried Mak to full term and a with a four-day labor, he came out happily at 38 weeks. No health issues, and my BP returned to normal shortly after. It wasn't the home birth I wanted, but it wasn't a cesarian either.

I have to admit, we were nervous when we started talking about having our second baby. We always wanted two kids, and we wanted them somewhat close together. But the fear of repeating those health issues certainly gave us pause. The research was on our side, though, so we went for it. And we're excited to welcome this little girl to our family in December.

I've been keeping track of my blood pressure this whole pregnancy, and it's been great. I went in this morning to take my GD test and didn't even bat an eyelash, I had full confidence that I'd pass. I didn't. The number was well above the cutoff, but not high enough to slap the "diabetes" label on just yet. I'm sure come Monday morning, I'll be getting a call from Kaiser to schedule the dreaded three hour fasting glucose test. Let me tell you, I am not a fun hungry person. I go over two hours of not eating and I. Am. GRUMPY (that's putting it mildly). So now looking forward to fasting overnight, showing up at Kaiser to drink some orange soda and get my blood drawn four times?

Oh yes, please, sign me up. Funny how I just wasn't worried. And I know I shouldn't be worried yet. But man, as a woman, it sure feels like my body is telling me, "Look, I just don't like this pregnancy thing, so please stop now." And even though this is likely my last pregnancy, I would still like my body to embrace its easy fertility. We're lucky, why the complications?

Argh. I hate feeling discouraged. But at least I've learned to be proactive. Instead of just waiting around, we've already decided to throw out the indulgent junk foods we keep in our pantry and replace it all with fresh foods. If I do have GD, I'm certainly not going to let that stop me from attempting my home birth.

Thanks for listening.

Much Love,
The Dolfos

PA

There's nothing like getting up to go to the bathroom (for the billionth time, thanks pregnancy hormones) and having your (almost) two year old shout, "MOM, PEE!"

Yes, yes, I'm going pee. Thanks for the PA, child.

Much Love,
The Dolfos

New Words.

Makani has two uncles named Kai and Myles. He calls them "ka" and "mole".
It just makes me giggle uncontrollably.

He has an aunt named Jessie, which he pronounces as "assie".
He still calls my sister "ara" for Tia Ciara.

I love how little ones talk. Love their practice, love their pronunciations, love love love.

Much Love,
The Dolfos

Change.

It's been a stressful few weeks. Brad's still waiting to hear about a job placement in the district, and he started his last semester of college. So looking forward to him not being in school, but first he has to finish four classes to get his degree. Which should help him get a better job. But it would be nice if he had a job in the meantime. Damn budget cuts.

Anyway. Lots of changes at home, too. We finally got Mak a "baby sister" doll and a stroller, so he could start practicing being a big brother. So far, not bad. He can be very loving and gentle when he wants to. He can also run over the baby with glee when he wants to. I'm not worried, though. I just want him to develop a sense of purpose, a purpose for himself as a big brother, and know that the baby has a purpose in our lives, too.

More changes: Carter has started preschool. Such a bittersweet moment for me, since I started nannying for him when he was just fourteen months old. He'll be four years old in November, and while I know it was time for him to start, I couldn't help but feel sad at the thought that this precious kid just outgrew what I could give him. Luckily, I took him to some trial days at preschool, so I actually got to see how enriching it will be for him, and how well he fits in... My sadness diminished into joy as I saw how happy he was to have other kids his age (not just Makani) to play with.

If I'm this sad when Carter starts preschool, how many tears will I shed when it's Makani's turn?? I should buy some stocks in Kleenex now.

I have to say, as stressful as things have been lately, I'm proud of Brad and I for keeping each other grounded and sane. Stress is hard on a marriage, but we seem to have found ways to check in with each other and deal with it effectively. I hope that never changes.

Much love,
The Dolfos

Two steps forward...

Lately, I've been seeing glimpses of "Baby" on my son's face. The chubby cheeks, curious eyes, that sweet, round chin. My heart swells because it's almost as if time is giving me some last looks before my son graduates from having any baby at all to full toddler/boy. And I know in a year or two, I'll be saying the same thing about his toddler face.

As I get ready to welcome a little girl, I get excited when looking at the precious newborn clothing, remembering what it's like to have a teeny, cuddly being in my arms. But I also look over the newborn boy clothing and have such wistful moments, remembering Makani's little face as he entered the world, nursed at my breast, and slept on his dad. This is likely my last pregnancy. I'll never have a baby boy again.

I take comfort in the fact that my toddler seems to be thriving, happy and healthy. I must be doing this parenting thing pretty well. This is new territory to me. Parent nostalgia. These are a new mix of emotions. Pride and grief. I never thought having children would make me sad. Each stage brings bittersweet hugs, smiles and sometimes tears. I suppose it's part of the journey.

Much Love,
The Dolfos

Love is...

... Random Easter egg hunts just because.





Much Love,
The Dolfos

It's Love.

I am not a morning person. Never have been. Sure, I get out of bed at 7:30, get dressed and go downstairs to start the day, but my mind is not awake. I do not like talking, sudden movements, or loud noises.

Clearly, this isn't too compatible with having a toddler. But you do things you'd rather not do just for your kids. Small sacrifice, big payoff.

Lately, I've been going downstairs and Makani's face lights up, he hells MOM! and runs to greet me with a hug and kiss. I'm not gonna lie, my eyes well up to accompany the huge smile my face makes.

It's much better than any cup of coffee could be.

Much Love,
The Dolfos

20 weeks...

... Looks like this:





Much Love,
The Dolfos

Love is...

.... Cuddling and a movie.





Much Love,
The Dolfos

Sh*t happens.

Sometimes literally.

I nanny for a great three year old named Carter. We've been together since he was 13 months old, so I've been with him since before I ever got pregnant with Makani.

Fast forward two years, and I'm fortunate that Carter and Mak have forged a great friendship. Practically like siblings, and I say that because as much as they love like siblings, they definitely argue as such. For example:

Carter, being three and a half, has taken to being a bit bossy sometimes. Makani, being one and a half, doesn't like it too much. He's a very physical kid, my Mak, and not one for words. So lately, when Carter gets too bossy, Makani sometimes pushes him to let him know he's had enough. There's been some biting from Mak, and Carter let up for awhile.

Well, this week, the bossing was turned WAY up. My solution has always been to separate the two and have them parallel play until they can play nicely again. On this particular day, Makani needed a diaper change. I ran upstairs to get one, came back down to hear Carter shouting, "Makani, you have to share! SHARE! Give me it!" I should note that Carter is still learning that 'share' doesn't mean you get it right away. Sharing, I explained, means the person still gets to finish their turn before handing it over.

Mak was fed up. He doesn't like being bossed and has tried everything to get Carter to stop. So he went to an extreme I never, EVER thought I'd witness: He reached into his diaper, grabbed a handful of his poop, and threw it at Carter.

How lucky am I that Carter moved at the last second? He didn't even realize that he was the intended target. I stood there, in shock, stuck between hysterical laughter and sheer disgust. All I could do for a moment was utter, "Makani, don't fling your poop!" Makani didn't seem to hear me, since he was still staring down Carter who, by then, was laughing his little butt off.

Oh the joys.......... I recounted this whole thing to Brad when he got home, and he could NOT stop laughing. I wasn't quite into the full belly laugh yet. Brad's comment was, "well... at least he's resourceful in his anti-bullying stance."

Sheesh!

Much love,
The Dolfos

Nesting!

Brad came home from work on Saturday, took one look around the house and said, ...... oh....... You're nesting.

I was quite offended. It's too early for nesting, I told him. I'm only 18 weeks, that's not even halfway, and what's more, why does cleaning have to be labeled as nesting just because I'm pregnant?!

Ariel, he tells me, LOOK around. And I looked. I see piles of things to keep, donate, trash. EVERYWHERE. No inch of my house was untouched by my uncontrollable need to get everything in order. Damnit, I thought, I *am* nesting. How totally random. Brad proceeded to remind me that I started this early with Makani, too. As soon as we found out his gender via ultrasound, I absolutely had to go out, buy paint for his room and get it done ASAP. There is absolutely no rationale involved. It's just a primal instinct that takes over and anyone that gets in the way is a danger.

We found out the gender of this baby quite early. At 17 weeks, there was a clear absence of boy parts. The tech seemed fairly confident in declaring this baby a girl. Every time I share my doubts with Brad, he reminds me that she (the baby) wasn't shy, and we checked from several angles, looking for a penis. There wasn't one. This, of course, sparked an intense need to go through all the baby boy clothes we'd been saving, just in case. There were boxes and boxes of clothes, from newborn to 18 months.

No matter how tired or hungry I was, I could not stop sorting. Piles mounted, what goes in Makani's baby box, what to give away, what's neutral enough to keep for a girl. I'm happy to say I'm done for the moment.

By the way, nesting is not limited to baby things only. I went through my jewelry, my clothes, my make-up, Brad's clothes, the dishes, the kitchen towels, I went though everything. All excess *stuff*... gone. As if getting rid of "weight" will somehow balance all the weight I'm gaining (not much). It's such a strange feeling, to feel such primal urges, things you can't fight, nor should you.

I'm sure in a month or two, I'll be at it again, and should we have another baby shower.... all I can say is, stay out of my way. ;)

Much Love,
The Dolfos

One day...

... You'll wake up and you'll be able to forget the sadness, get into the gladness of Love and it's way and you will not fight it, While everyone dozes, life's coming up roses...
-owsley.





Much Love,
The Dolfos

Erm.

I know I'm not the only person who talks to herself aloud while driving. I never thought much of it, however, until a cheez-it hit me in the face and Makani said, "Mom, stop!"

My bad, kid. Here, go back to your inappropriate Katy Perry music.

Much love,
The Dolfos

Stories!

Makani has started telling stories! I am so excited, I love storytelling. His first story ever:

Mak: mom, owie (points)
Me: you have an owie?
Mak: yesh.
Me: what happened?
Mak: (signs) fell down
Me: you fell down?
Mak: yesh.

It's not much, but to me it's thrilling. He's even made the connection to Toy Story, the first movie where Buzz Lightyear jumps off the railing and his arm pops out. He tells me the same story.

Mak: mom! Buzz, fell down. Owie!

And I smile every time, even though he's told me this story about thirty times now. It makes my heart smile.

Much love,
The Dolfos

THUD.

This week has gone by faster than I expected. We had a dentist appointment on Monday to consult on Makani's supernumerary. Dentist said it looks fine, the other teeth will likely move out of the way to make room. His bite may be a bit off, but it's really only an issue if he has an extra adult tooth. They won't check for that until he's three or four, and even then, should he have one, they won't remove it until age seven or eight.

Relief, no? Well, on Tuesday, Makani, my sure-footed little boy, fell face first onto the kitchen tile. He's fallen many, many times. He's hit his face many, many times. Usually a fat lip or some bruising, but that's as far as it's gotten. I was upstairs while Mak was in the kitchen with Brad. I hear a scream followed by silence. You know, that silence that happens with mouth open, red face, as they let out every ounce of breath in their lungs and prepare to inhale so much that they force out that second SCREAM. Well that second scream out of Mak was blood-curling. I RUN downstairs to see Brad holding him, comforting, I calm down, and then Makani pulls away from his shoulder.

And I see it. Blood. A lot of blood. Spilling out of Makani's mouth. This is my boy who has not yet even had the flu, and here he is, in my kitchen, blood pouring out of his mouth. My first thoughts, oh my god, he lost a tooth, he bit through his lip, we have to get to the ER and now, then I hear Brad tell me to get ice. Ice, I can get ice. Where are the bags? WHERE ARE THE BAGS?! Ice, Why does ice have to be so hard to get out of the tray when you're in a rush?! Makani doesn't even like ice. How is Brad going to force ice on his mouth when we don't even know what's going on.

I rush back and Brad had wiped off most of the blood, which seemed to finally be slowing down. We see Mak's two front teeth intact, his poor gums huge and purple and his top lip swollen. I remember briefly that this happened to my sister once. She was six or so and on roller blades. She was pushed, fell and kneed her two front teeth in. Blood also spilled out, but at eleven years old, I didn't register as much. I remember seeing my mom frantic and screaming... 15 years later, here I was, frantic and screaming just like I remember her doing.

We tried to check his teeth, he wasn't letting us. He stopped screaming so we let him be while we all calmed down. I talked to my mom. I hope his teeth don't fall out, she said, your sister's did. Thanks, mom. Helpful. Minutes went by with no crying, Brad had a study group he was hosting, Baby in my belly was doing flips, no doubt reacting to the surge in stress hormones I had just sent through my body. Had to get out of the house. Grabbed the boy, the keys, kissed Brad and went to my mom's. It always cheers up Mak.

Once there, his spirits buoyed, we were able to check his mouth out a little more. His teeth didn't seem loose, his lip DID seem fat, but his speech sounded normal. I also checked his pupils. No concussion on top of this, please. All normal. Deep breaths all around. Once back home, we gave him tylenol and extra cuddles. A short debate on whether we should give him a binky or not, but he can't sleep without one and his teeth don't seem loose... I didn't have the energy for a binky battle. Down he went, binky in his mouth and we all passed out.

It's Saturday now, and his gums look good. Still a bit dark, but his teeth are nicely attached and the fat lip has thinned out. He's eating food normally and we haven't given him Tylenol in days. I think this crisis is over. I'm told by many that boys have much greater need for urgent care visits and the catastrophe count is higher with them.

Is it bad that I'm kinda hoping I have a girl now? 'Cause I'd rather not do this a second time.

Much Love,
The Dolfos

Supernumerary!

Yup, seems our Makani has an extra tooth growing in! I must admit, I feel totally unprepared for this, who knew kids could have extra teeth?!

After some research (what did parents do before the internet?) it seems that our next course of action is to go to a dentist to get it evaluated. This likely means X-rays, to see if it's overcrowding, if it will affect his grown up teeth placement, or if it will grow in naturally and fall out naturally.

Naturally, we're hoping for the latter. But of course, you do whatever is best for your child. So... more when we know more, I guess. I always did know I had a super Mak. ;)

Much love,
The Dolfos

16 weeks!

Looks something like this:





Much love,
The Dolfos

Acceptance.

We had a midwife appointment yesterday with Sarah, who attended Makani's birth as well. We're really hoping to use her again in our attempt to have a home birth. Brad and I decided to bring along Makani, since the environment there is calmer and slow-paced, unlike Kaiser's white halls, white rooms, in and out mentality. I swear, if you take your time at Kaiser, you get those who farted looks.

Anyway, this would be Makani's first, but hopefully not last, prenatal appointment with us. We really want to help him warm up to the idea of a new baby. He's not against it, but we want him FOR it. He played with some old school toys while we talked with Sarah, but stopped and watched patiently and curiously as she pulled out her stethoscope to check for the baby's heartbeat. It might be too early, she said, to hear it with that old school stethoscope, but she wanted to try. No luck, but Makani couldn't take his eyes off it. When she was done, she asked Mak if he wanted to listen. A vigorous nod from him, and we put the stethoscope around his neck, which most kids prefer, and he grabbed the end and put it on my belly. The concentration in his face was precious.

Sarah grabbed a fetal doppler and looked around as well, and we quickly found the heartbeat going 153. Then Makani kissed my belly. Two happy babies, my cup runneth over.

Much love,
The Dolfos

THUMP!

At about twelve weeks, I started to feel the little flutters. I first felt Makani flutter in my belly at 13 weeks, so I knew it would happen around this time. Well last night, Brad and I went to a wedding. It was a lot of fun, very busy, very loud. I'm sitting there talking and all of a sudden I feel a *JAB*! I'm thinking to myself, it must be a ligament that just needed to readjust itself. About twenty minutes later, I was sitting absolutely still and *JAB* again!

I sat there pretty shocked at the sharp thumping coming from a supposedly small, small being that I had only felt flutter like a little butterfly. I'm 15 weeks now. Jabbing isn't unlikely, but here I thought i would happen gradually. Nope. This kid has other plans. I was pretty hungry, so it felt as if Baby was elbowing me, saying, MOM! Feed me! As soon as dinner was served, I happily obliged! THEN, I felt some happy *JAB*s, too! I tried to get Brad's hand so he could feel it, but they were so few and far in between, and unpredictable, that he kept missing it. But soon, it'll be easier for him. He's so excited to feel Baby moving. :)

I'm trying not to compare this pregnancy with my first, but it's challenging. I certainly find this one easier. Less worries, less of "oh my god what was that i need to call the doctor", less rush. It's nice. I also have Makani here with me this time. He's a strong source of motivation for me. A reminder everyday how much all this is worth it, and how blessed I am to be able to grow a baby. His hugs and kisses certainly keep me calm and centered. He makes me laugh daily, and he keeps me on my feet, and his constant eating has me constantly eating, too. It's been a great fifteen weeks now. Twenty-five to go!

Much love,
The Dolfos

A lesson

Dear Makani,

"Put it in the trashcan" does not mean you can take it out again if you change your mind.

Love,
Mom. XO

Babies and Biting.

So at our prenatal appointment this past monday, our midwife tried to find the baby's heartbeat on the doppler. I'm 13 weeks and 6 days (today). Couldn't find it. I had a suspicion that might happen, as the baby is still pretty small. Nonetheless, all the info I knew couldn't stop my heart from pounding a bit harder as she went to get the ultrasound machine, just to check.

Turned it on, found the baby.... and found the heart beating away happily. Talk about a *WHEW*. It's amazing how fast your mind can race in just a few seconds. While my logical mind was telling me to stay calm, baby is likely fine, and if not, I can always try again, 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriages and those women often go on to have healthy pregnancies and many babies, etc etc etc... that emotional side of my brain could only think about the little being I've come to know and love and how much I really want to meet that bean.

I'm fortunate. I know it. I've had one healthy baby and I'm on my way (hopefully) to having another. Those few seconds I gained even more respect and compassion for those who've had miscarriages, especially late ones.

Anyway, a happy note: We got to actually see the baby! Got to see it moving around in there, and the little skeleton, brain, arms and legs. I'm so excited. Brad's excited. Makani's.... indifferent, but that's okay. At this point, indifferent is a good thing.

Speaking of my big Mak, he's been biting lately. Oi. Not something I thought I'd face, but here we are. I've asked around at other parents, and I kid you not, EVERY one of them said they bit back. Just once, because after that, their kids never bit again. Sooooo..... I did it. And Makani has NOT dared to even threaten a bite. I think I may have scared the bite out of him. Let's hope so!!

Much Love,
The Dolfos

Yes, it's true.

I'm pregnant! On Friday I'll be twelve weeks. That's three months. :)

So excited, nervous, anxious, all those wonderful feelings come right back like I've never done this before. However, my body is acting like an old pro. Almost twelve weeks and I already have a little belly going. Makani's pretty easygoing about it... He obviously doesn't get it yet, but finally consented to "letting" me having another baby. Silly boy.

I get to chronicle this story all over again, and just like no two pregnancies are the same, no two stories are the same, either.

Much Love,
The Dolos.

Love is...

... Being in the moment.






Much Love,
The Dolfos

Love is...

... Cheesy smiles!






Much Love,
The Dolfos

Word Count.

*yes (head nod)
*no (head shake)
*no (sign)
*no
*bath time
*exercise (sign)
*book (sign)
*sorry (sign)
*moon
*Buzz
*food/eat (sign)
*banana (sign)
*banana
*milk (sign)
*juice (sign)
*look
*baby (sign)

That's all I can remember for now. :)

Much love,
The Dolfos

Love is...

...boys being boys!



Much love,
The Dolfos

Word count!

As Makani turns 18 months next week, I'm curious to see just how many words he has. He certainly understands a LOT, and in three languages, no less! :)

*please
*please (sign)
*more (sign)
*mas
*train (sign)
*ball
*ball (sign)
*"ota" (pelota - spanish for ball)
*agua
*wa-wa (water - in english)
*water (sign)
*Mala (our dog)
*Mom
*mom (sign)
*Dad
*dad (sign)
*co-co (troque - spanish for truck)
*WOW!
*ow
*Carter
*brush teeth (sign)
*bath (sign)
*diaper (sign)
*dat (that)
*go


Yes, each word counts if it's in a different language. Can you believe it?! Those aren't even all of them (I'll try to complete it later). He's also got a phrase: more please (in sign language). Love this boy!

Much love,
The Dolfos

Love is...

... Sharing the birthday spotlight.





My boys sure spoiled me this week. I am one grateful, happy woman. Here's to a wonderful 26th year.

Much love,
The Dolfos

Love is...

A sunny day.

Love is...

... Like the FORCE, all around

Love is...

... Being together.





Thursdays are officially "Love is..." days. :)

Much Love,
The Dolfos

Hop on Pop

I admit, we got Makani hooked on watching some "Sesame Street" at night before bedtime. Don't get me wrong, "Sesame Street" is pretty fun and educational, but it was never my intention to let him get hooked on TV so early. What can I say? It was easy.

Weak moment, no more, though. Finally found a few books that are great for bedtime reading and I'm happy to say that we've weaned him off the nightly youtube clips and switched him to books. He loves it! I thought it was going to be more work, but it's less. And the best part of it is that his babble has turned into some pretty advanced sounds - now we're actually encouraging his speech, vocabulary and interest in literature. I'm so proud! Of us, as parents, really, for making the switch. And of Mak, for being cool with and loving it.

It's a great feeling when you make those little decisions as parents that really pay off in the long run.

Much Love,
The Dolfos

A Pinch and A Punch!

... For the first of the month, of course.

March came in quickly. This may seem odd after such a loving post, but boy did Makani get on my nerves today! I've never seen such passionate tantrums from him before! I mean, I've seen tantrums, but never has he gotten down on his stomach, banging and kicking the floor while screaming at frequencies that should be illegal.

Tantrums like that get automatic time outs in this house. The theory is, when ANYONE is that frustrated, they probably just need to cool down on their own. I know when I'm pissy, a minute or two by myself will clear my head more than trying to talk it out. Fortunately, Makani is REALLY responsive to time outs - in a great way. He loves to lay in the play pen and just chill. After a minute, I come over and sign, "all done?" and he confirms by signing back, "all done, please" and we're back in business.

Today was not one of the better days. EVERYTHING was making him upset. Brad, C and I were at a loss as to how to help poor Mak communicate his needs. This kid knows three languages. For sure, if he wanted to communicate, he could and would. I guess today, Makani just had no interest. I knew something was off, since the kid had been clumsy ALL day. Falling and tripping and bumping into things.... oh, RIGHT, I reminded myself... Growth spurt! I even checked for teeth. Sure enough, there's a few of those fighting their way through as well.

SIGH. How many baby teeth do they grow in, again? He has 12 already and that seems to be sufficient, can we just stop there, please? Here's hoping the rest of the month will be smooth, and that I'll remind myself to have some patience.

Much love,
The Dolfos

February 28

So sometimes, I just can't break away to get to my computer. That's okay with me, though, because I have been soaking up every bit of my boy as I can... I don't know what or why or how, but it just hit me this past weekend how much and fast he's growing. I can't stop hugging him, kissing him, tickling him, talking to him or being talked to by him.

Well, we did give him his first real haircut, and he's looking much less like a baby and much more like a boy. I may be trying to hang onto the baby... Or really, it feels more like staying in the present, or staying present. One of those. I want to be there for those transitions and milestones. His babbling is sounding more and more like actual sentences, His fine motor skills have improved to the point where he can pick his nose, and color pretty well (not at the same time... yet).

I guess I've just noticed Makani is growing up a bit more and I wanted to relish this time and reassure him that I'm here. Whenever he needs a hug, or has a tantrum, or learns something new, or wants to show off, or just wants to talk to me... I'm here. That's my job, isn't it, as his mom? :)

We should all do that for each other. The world might be a better place.

Much Love,
The Dolfos

Love is...

... black and white.

Swim!

So way back when, we decided that Brad would be the one to share swim lessons with Makani. I'm not crazy about the water, and I didn't want to instill any of that "dislike" to Mak, so we thought it would be best if the more enthusiastic parent share that with him. Plus, I'm with him all day, it's nice that the boys get their own thing to bond over.

Brad had a job tonight (he's an interpreter) so it was my FIRST time ever getting in the water with Mak. I have to say, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be! Mak seemed to really enjoy me being in there with him, he's such a spunky water kid! Splashing and laughing and silly and diving... the fun was endless. :)

I see now the importance of at least once in a while showing some interest in your kids' hobbies. I'll never be crazy about swimming and water, but I see how happy Mak was to see ME, his MOM, sharing something special with him. He really is passionate about his swim lessons. He can hold his breath like a pro! He's also incredibly fearless. Absolutely no qualms about deep ends or diving. I'm going to have to keep an eye on this guy come summertime.

I was happy, as I always am, to see that huge smile on my son's face. And to know I had a big part in that.

Much Love,
The Dolfos.

CODA

It's important to me that my son signs. I don't know how long I'll be able to hear, but I know that I'll always be able to sign. It's an easy way to communicate, and a truly beautiful way, too. Fortunately, right now, I *CAN* hear, and speak clearly, so I don't sign with Makani as often as I wish I would. I've been trying to remind myself to sign more, or at least sim-com (simultaneous communication, where you speak and sign at the same time).

I'm getting better. But everyday, I remind myself that I need to turn off my voice and trust that he will pick up what I'm saying. He already does. And I know perfectly well that CODAs (Children Of Deaf Adults) have no delay in speech. In fact, some of the most brilliant people I know are CODAs. And I truly believe its because they learned sign language first. Or maybe the beauty of the Deaf Culture just raises these wonderful people. I need to have more trust in that my son will WANT to sign with me as he gets older. I guess part of me doesn't want to push it on him for fear that he won't want to, or resent having to learn another language just for one parent.

Either way, there is no time like the present to start something positive. I try, everyday, to find an hour or two to just voice-off and sign with Mak. And the best part is it makes no difference to him, it's obviously something he considers normal. He waves to get my attention, makes sure I'm looking at him and he's looking at me, I've unknowingly schooled him well, he's a true CODA.

For the record, he also speaks and understands Spanish. My little tri-linguist. :)

Much Love,
The Dolfos.

Things I'm thankful for on this Sunday night:

My inlaws. All of them. They feel just like family should feel.

Margaritas. Strong ones. ;)

Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project

My son saying "I love you" as "Mama, Ah La La" AND attempting the sign for it.

Clean laundry.

That Brad doesn't have to work tomorrow!

Early bedtime.

Much Love,
The Dolfos

Life with three.

A friend's nanny was out today, and since she wasn't able to find a back up in time, she asked me. I thought, "sure, I'll be helpful this one time and brave three kids. How hard can it be?"

J is a four month old, precious little girl. And fortunately for me, C seriously *LOVES* babies. However, Mak has never been around babies, so I was still a little apprehensive. 8am, J gets dropped off, so does C, all is well. Mak sees J, stares, then sees C, the boys go play, I get the girl settled in (I'd never met her before this).

I had it all planned out. I'd get all three kids in the car, and head down to Kid Ventures, a fabulous indoor play area. Got the diaper bags packed and the boys in their shoes, the girl buckled into the carseat and managed to corral them all in the car. Of course I didn't even consider that EVERY OTHER MOM would be there as well, since it was raining. It. Was. Packed. Fine, I thought, we'll just stay here for an hour, then by the time I get them all out of there and back IN the car and back home, it'll be lunchtime.

Wrong. Ten minutes into the hour, C had a meltdown. He was hungry and didn't like ANY of the 12 snacks I packed. Two choices, I told him, we can go home and eat or we can stay and play for a little bit longer and then go home and eat. He didn't like his choices. More meltdown. Some time out, while I changed J's diaper (how is it possible I'd already forgotten how often newborns need their diaper changed?!)

Then, of course, I changed Mak's diaper. Then I bottle-fed J. Then I kissed Mak's boo-boo. Then I helped C put on play clothes. Then I finished bottle-feeding J. And then.. And then.. And then........

Oh, how happy I was then the hour was up!! Got all three kids in the car, got home, J asleep in the carseat, fed the boys, bottle-fed J yet AGAIN, play play play play, NAP TIME!!

Here's the absolute best thing I've ever (I do mean EVER) accomplished: I got a three year old, a sixteen month old AAAANNNNDD a four month old to take a nap.

AT.THE.SAME.TIME.

Oh yes, I ate my lunch in peace and enjoyed EVERY. SECOND. I was so proud of myself! I really did think for a second that I couldn't possibly be able to take care of three kids at the same time, but I can!! I *CAN* do it! I certainly don't WANT to do it on a daily basis, but I definitely feel a great sense of... ability, I guess, is the right word, just knowing that there is something out there that I absolutely, positively CAN DO and I know I can because I did it!

And that, my friends, is life with three. I did it, and it didn't leave me as tired as I thought it would. I'm sure it's different when you have three 24/7, but for the moment, I'll settle for my 8/1 (eight hours a day, for one day). :)

Much Love,
The Dolfos

Play is serious business.

Much love,
The Dolfos

Sharing is Caring

So I woke up this morning and somehow ended up reading this article about sharing:



I have to say, I agree. I watch a three year old all day (let's call him "C") along with my sixteen month old. I've gone out of my mind trying to explain to C that Mak just doesn't understand the concept of sharing yet. I've also gone out of my mind emphasizing to C that 'sharing' doesn't mean 'my turn NOW' (Mak, for the most part, doesn't seem TOO interested yet in playing with others anyway). I've decided to take a step back and see if they can work it out amongst themselves.

So far, not too bad. There's some snatching here and there and I just watch and see what happens. Unlike the blogger, I have two kids in very different stages, so I'm sure that makes it different situation. C is much more likely to come up to me and complain. Mak has no problem yet, either way. All I now is, taking this approach sure helps my sanity throughout the day. Playing referee for eight straight hours was just exhausting. It's important to let kids build their conflict resolution skills, and we as parents are here to help them, not do it for them.

Here's to caring, independent, skillful children! :)

Much love,
The Dolfos

16 months.

Mak is turning sixteen months tomorrow. I really don't know where the time went. Today was particularly challenging. He woke up with red, bumpy cheeks - a "tell" sign that more teeth are cutting through. Poor kid really can't catch a break! Only four teeth on his first birthday, and now, he's up to 12, just four months later. I'm lucky that he is a very happy boy, all I have to do is take him outside and he's great. But the tantrums are hard on me and I find myself wanting to just scream back. Instead, I close my eyes, take a deep breath and calmly deal with it.

I'm reading Gretchen Rubin's "The Happiness Project" () and one of her commandments (for herself, which I find fit me very well) is "Act the way I want to feel." I always want to feel content, and calm, and find myself NEVER feeling either of those during the day lately. So I go ahead and fake it. I put a smile on my face and I use my indoor voice against the toddler's screaming, and I find that eventually (most of the time) I start to feel just a little calmer than I did an hour ago. It's working. It's such a big mental shift from my daily stressing out, so I expect it to take time.

Also, I'm making the switch back to cloth diapers. All this teething has been hard on poor Mak's bottom, which also lead to tantrums, and to save my sanity, and his, I'm going back to cloth. He's happier in cloth, which makes ME happier. Less rashes, and he's even more aware of when he's wet and he'll ASK me to change his diaper. How can anyone say anything negative about that? I'm not surrounded by too much support, even Brad isn't thrilled with it, because, honestly: disposables are "easier". But when I say, "It makes HIM happy, which makes ME happy." Well, who can deny us that?

I would like to make it my resolution to write here at least six days a week. I even have the App on my iPhone. No excuses. And it's thanks to Gretchen Rubin, because I know that writing makes me happy, and we could all use a little more HAPPY in our lives.

Much love,
The Dolfos